My name is Marie and I’m from Denmark. I went to Dubai at the age of 18 and feel in love with the place - high energy and endless opportunities of building a business and network.
In 2014 I met a Palestinian guy, Imad. He was born and raised in UAE and completely swept me off my feet. So caring and passionate. We were working on building our companies and had so much fun enjoying the fast lane in Dubai. Cinema at 11pm, dine out every night and having drinks with friends on a regular Tuesday.
Getting closer to 30 I really wanted a baby and knowing Imad would be the most loving father, I was pushing him into the idea of having a baby when not having a savings and stable jobs. I guess the culture and the way we were raised gave us different ideas of family life. Being a Dane we have the privilege to choose when we want to bring children into the world, as we could always just move back to Denmark and enjoy free healthcare, free schools and get a good paying job. What I didn’t think about was that Imad is a desert boy, who could not easily move into the danish culture and strict structure.
I got pregnant and we were super excited, but I felt Imad was getting more and more anxious about the idea of financing life with a baby in Dubai. We had some rough jobs that didn’t go as planned and the first bump on the road was to decide to give birth in Denmark as the cover was not good for my insurance in Dubai. Imad got a huge job the same day as I was going into labor. Only having one month to complete this project he was able to work from Denmark in the beginning. Unfortunately, there were issues and he had to leave me and our 2 week old in Denmark and travel back to Dubai.
He wasn't able to complete the project to their wants in the time frame. They refused to pay him and his employees. When our son, Adam, and I arrived back to Dubai, he was so pressured that he had no room for us and his new role as a father. He spent the next 3 months trying to get the money in for staff salaries for the failed event, so hitting rock bottom with a 3 month old baby on the arm, not able to pay rent, I had to pack our things and move to Denmark.
Imad tried his best and managed to solve the salaries, after 6 months of struggling but didn’t get a penny for himself, so he followed us to Denmark with a depression.
I had started a part time job to support us there, and having to deal with rent, household, a baby, and then a depressed husband disappearing whenever he couldn’t handle life, I saw myself drowning.
After about 8 months of struggle and slowly killing my fire, I asked for a divorce.
Imad still didn’t have his visa sorted in Denmark, as he had ended up being a refugee because he didn’t get his papers in order in time for the tourist visa to run out. He was forced to go back to Dubai to sort his visa there, he traveled back in August and is still there.
We skype almost everyday so he can speak with Adam and still know him for when we travel to meet him in Dubai in December. I’m having Adam full time here in Denmark and finally just got myself and my flame back, to resign my job, so I can start my business here.
It’s so tough to be full time mom and never ever getting a break. Being so patient every single night when it takes 1-2 hours to get him to bed. Having no one to brainstorm creative ideas on how to deal with him when he suddenly doesn’t want to wear his diaper or jacket. Or never to be able to put nail polish on, because he would wake up suddenly at night, needing hugs and cuddles.
I have recently looked into my values as a parent. Who did I expect myself to be, who am I, and who do I want to be? I’m seeing an alternative therapist doing tapping, so let go of all my negative and judgemental beliefs to find more patience and love, so I can become the parent I want to be ❤️
I hope this can inspire!
Kærligst, Marie Baagøe
Marie Baagoe IG: marie.baagoe