Starting to date again it seems more complicated than before. I’m not sure where to start. I have joined dating apps but it goes no where. We have to make sure we don’t make the same mistakes from before. I have kids that I want to protect so it’s not easy. We should all have an idea of what we want in the relationship. What advice or ideas can you share in starting out.
It’s not easy. I’ve done it and after my fortieth birthday!!! I made lots of mistakes, but had fun and actually stayed friends with a few of the guys that just weren’t compatible or ready at the time.
Heres the thing, we all have baggage, and we all have needs. The key is to not address either of these right away. Keep your kids in the background for a while and just be yourself. Have adult time and don’t feel guilty about it. This is important because we are hard wired as single parents to tamp down our needs and wants.
It’s easy to be overwhelmed in the beginning. Everyone is happy and sweet. Shiny and new. Everyone’s profile pictures are selected for maximum attention. Ask questions, be real and realistic. I worked at a bar where a guy actually took all his match.com dates to hang out. We had to rescue a couple, he was a real tool!
So keep in mind that dating apps are just another social media and while there’s editing involved in pictures and words, there are some very real and amazing people out there! (Besides the ones smart enough to join this site!❤️)
I started dating on Tinder. I hate that app but I don’t know how to meet people that easy. The kids don’t know that I am dating and they don’t need to know. I find that dating is still difficult hehehe. I can be a little bit insecure about myself since the divorce. When someone leaves you for another guy that does break your heart and my convidence. I also notice a lot of list on Tinder about hights, weight, age, and other stuff. It seems that everyone is looking for a model, rich, no kids, body like a athlete and smart. I date when the kids are with their mother. But I don’t date a lot. Find it still hard to have trust in love again. So my tip is: start dating when you are ready for it.
I went on the app Bumble for a couple of weeks last New Year's 😂, it was kind of exhilarating, and kept me distracted while my kids were with their Dad but it wasn't for me. I learnt a lot about myself, number one I wasn't ready for a relationship or dating - I was still in the wanting to be "saved" by a knight in white armour mode. Fast forward ten months and lots of spiritual growth...now I'm at the stage where I'm not "looking" for a relationship but focussing on the people and things I love, and that includes myself, and trusting that the relationship will come.